This is probably a confession of things I don’t say out and writing it here as not everyone who reads it knows me and it’s more like telling it out or one could say sharing it.
I’ve always been scared of attachment, no idea why. It always scared the shit out of me, I had this feeling that if I get close to people, they’ll realize who I am on inside and would hate me, and what would I do if they’d leave me.
So I decided to take my bait on it and tried getting to know people anyway. I must admit it was an exhausting task. After years of being alone , getting to be with people was an energy consuming task. I happened to run across a person whom I could finally say how I felt. But you know as things go said, my night mare turned reality. I don’t blame the person, they tried their best, but as we got to each other, with every incident I was broken, I was blamed at. I do not know how would anyone ever take it as,I still cannot find a way to escape and find myself drowning.
I don’t know the amount of time it’d take for me to come out of it. But writing it down sure makes it feel lighter.